Now, just to ensure I am not misleading anyone, the bible technically doesn't say, "spare the rod, spoil the child." But since everyone is familiar with the saying, I felt like it was fitting. (see Proverbs 13:24 or 23:13-14).
Late last week a father posted a video of him beating his two daughters for making an online video of themselves twerking! (if you don't know what twerking is then look it up!).
So is he a bad parent for spanking his kids? Is whooping your kid ever necessary? Is putting your kid on time out the best approach? When physical discipline was allowed in schools and by your neighbors, did we have a more well behaved youth? Or did we create a society of violence?
I grew up in a household where we received spankings all of the time. My dad was raised that way, my dad's dad was raised that way, therefore I was raised that way.
While timeouts and other disciplinary methods work for some parents and is encouraged by some child psychologists, other research shows corporal punishment forms more well-adjusted people later in life.
According to Physician magazine, "spanking should be used selectively for clear, deliberate misbehavior, especially a child's persistent defiance of a parent. Spanking works, but must be used thoughtfully and carefully in conjunction with other disciplinary measures."
In my opinion, COMMUNICATION in conjunction with progressive steps of discipline must go hand in hand.
When we were young, back in the day when we walked to school uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes on, we were spanked and that was it. (But, some of us had parents that spoke to us with each whip..."Didn't...I...Tell...You...). Once the spanking was over, there was no closure. Luckily, I understood my Dad completely. My sister on the other hand...not so much. (that is a whole separate blog so we won't go into my sister's life today...LOVE YOU SIS)
Fast forward to today. I have 3 beautiful, well behaved children that listen to me and listen well. I make sure they understand why they are being disciplined and at times asked them if they deserved a "shamwowpow." (aka spanking). If they said yes, I would ask how many and they would get exactly that. At times if they said none, I wouldn't do it at all.
In the end, I made sure they understood why discipline needed to happen and made sure that they knew I loved them. Ultimately, I use discipline as a way to "get their attention." If parents are dysfunctional and beat their kids out of habit or frustration from their own lives, then that's a problem.
Ultimately, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger! (it might make you bitter too...if that's the case, when will you let it go and remember what you should have learned?)